Being Homesick

This is going to be quite an emotional/whiny post. So, if you plan on calling me ungrateful or to judge me in any sort of negative way, I suggest you to stop reading and just exit this browser. This girl need to release some emotion or she'll blow up into million pieces.


Last week, this very same day, I could be described as cheerful, crazy and fun! All that has changed. I am now Audrey the moody, depressed and lifeless.


My first placement at SJK (C) Chung Hua Engkilili brought me to know nice colleagues. A bunch of nice people who I can see been helping me to adapt to the life there. So far, that's the only positive thing I can feel being there.


I know, I know. Compared to most of my coursemates, I am considered to be lucky to be placed at a school that could be reached by road. Constant electricity and water supply as well as being able to have Internet and mobile line.


However, being brought up in a family of single parent, I dare to say that I am deeply attached to my mom and my brother. To top it off, my mother suffers from thyroiditis which affects her heart. Her condition is getting worse and she's living alone. It just hurt my heart and soul not to be able to stay with her and to look after her. Every single day being away from her is killing me.


When I'm in Engkilili, I failed to put my heart and soul into educating the pupils there. Their main communication language is Mandarin and being as banana as I am, I can't seem to communicate with them effectively. I had to rojakkan my Mandarin, Bahasa and English just to deliver a simple message. Unlike my last Internship, I have not yet discover that same passion and fire to teach and to love teaching...


My living condition there does not help either. As it is a small town, it is hard to find a rental place where I could walk to my working place. Currently, I am living in a room that was once a store with poor air ventilation. Sun ray and wind could not reach my room. Hence, I need to switch on the light which made the room more humid. I'm anticipating heat-stroke anytime soon. Oh and I can't use any electrical appliances with high voltage or else I'll lose my only electric socket there is!


I guess this is one of the down time in my life. I'm super emo and super homesick right now. However, I do believe in time, it'll heal together with God's help. For now, I guess I need to whine it out.


So, be grateful with your current life if it does not give you any difficulty! Love thy parents cause you'll definitely misses them when you have to be apart from them!